Among the things I inherited from my late father is a hardy attitude towards hats. He only wore them under very special circumstances, and those circumstances were two: fishing—in which a lichen-green number adorned with a strange fly was both practical and proper—and going on a summer vacation.
The hat on a man, in civilian life, is generally something to be viewed with suspicion. The bowlers followed the path of the vest pocket watch. Flat caps are for farmers and hipsters. The extravagantly brimmed felt fedora, worn by would-be men of letters in their late middle years, tends to reek of vulgar self-advertisement. And hats behind the wheel of a car – accompanied, perhaps, by leather driving gloves on a Sunday afternoon “tour” – are the grossest affectation. “The fool in the hat,” muttered my old man when he found himself stuck behind one of the summer paths of my childhood.
This rhyme must be taken into account. Few men can still wear a hat in civilian life. The list is limited, as far as I am concerned, to Indiana Jones (fedora), Del Boy Trotter (flat cap), Malcolm McDowell in A clockwork orange (bowler) and Benny of Carrefour (cap) – and note that all of these characters are fictional.
My austerity on this front is partly the result of early humiliation. Inspired by the first of these examples, I asked for a fedora for a birthday when I was a preteen, received one, and am still blushing now to imagine how a skinny 11-year-old wandering around downtown town of Dorking in the late 1980s in a fedora would have looked.
But a straw hat for summer, paired with an open-necked white shirt, knee-length shorts and flip-flops, is a nice thing. For those of us who have the kind of optician’s prescription that prevents us from wearing contact lenses – and who also don’t want the expense of prescription sunglasses, the scary look of photochromatic lenses ( the kind that darken in the sun) or the unsatisfactory clip-on, flip-down types – a wide-brimmed hat is essential in direct sunlight.
Endless Joy Floral Print Tencel Blend Twill Bucket Hat, £120, mrporter.com
New Era 9FORTY New York Yankees woven cap, £30, selfridges.com
For several years in my house, it’s been the surefire sign of summer when I pull down from the top of the cupboard the straw hat I bought in a street market in Cuba in, damn it, 2009. That cost me $5, traveled all over the world and – although the black fabric headband is frayed and faded, and the salty tides of sweat have drawn little maps on the inside edge – it’s in surprisingly good condition. state.
It’s the kind of hat people tend to call a Panama, although my old dad insisted that a real Panama hat should, like his, have a seam on top and be rollable so that you can put it in a suitcase. Mine never fits in a suitcase – but it’s perched atop my carry-on in countless overhead bins and been through customs on numerous trolleys.
Not only does it signal summer, but it participates in all kinds of summer activities. You can take pleasure in the assignment of raising it and lowering it slightly in greeting. You can practice the Michael Jackson-style arm-rolling maneuver to put it over your head to impress your kids (hat tilted down, lightly grab the back of the brim between your fingers, roll up, and flip). It provides a handy repository for keys and wallet when you go swimming. And, of course, it covers your whole face more comfortably and ventilated than anything else when you have an afternoon nap on a lounger in mind.
Despite warnings against wearing masculine hats, my more style-conscious colleagues inform me that hats are back in fashion for the male of the species at a gallop – and just in time for summer. Selfridges reports hat sales are up 80% from 2019. If you don’t want to look like Holiday Dad, in other words, there are acceptable alternatives.
Oddly enough, the hottest item of the day – or, as the fashion folks say, “the key shape” – is actually the good old bucket hat, which, for those of us of a certain vintage, inevitably brings to mind Mani (or Reni or Stimpi or whatever it’s called) of the Roses stone and takes us back to a blur of baggy pants and happy vibes pretending to have been to the Spike Island concert.
Judging by Mr Porter’s selection these days, the bob has been popping up since I was a boy. I was rather taken with, for example, a black bob by Endless Joy (slogan: “Free your mind and your ass will follow”) splashed with cream and yellow epiphyllum flowers, and the refined and understated version of Pop Trading Company. style in dark blue corduroy. We are ravey, we are navy. Both will roll up and slip easily into your back pocket. Isabel Marant’s mauve and lilac Haleyh Hat is a beautiful thing, I thought – but a little too outrageous to get away with. Luckily, the beautifully unisex nature of the bucket hat means my 12 year old will look great in it.
Palm Angels Logo Cotton Twill Baseball Cap, £155, mrporter.com
Pop Trading Company Embroidered Logo Cotton Corduroy Hat, £55, mrporter.com
And then, of course, there are the baseball caps – which come in a dizzying number of varieties, from virtually disposable to something north of £500 (thanks Brunello Cucinelli). And, fashion being what it is, if you’re smitten with Celine Homme’s mesh trucker cap, you can spend £335 to look like Cletus the loose-jawed Yokel from The simpsons.
For those of us past the first wave of youth, I should say, baseball caps should be worn, if at all, forward. In reverse says beef-fed American youth or, worse, Steve Buscemi saying “How are you, classmates?” There’s a definite semiotic divide between the adjustable baseball cap, the non-adjustable baseball cap (fabric all around, arc-fold brim) and the mesh-crown type that says you either aspire to drive an 18-wheeler. through the Nevada desert or open a grain cafe in Hoxton Square. If you don’t bend the brim into an arch, by the way, you either look like a rapper or a South Korean professional video gamer, which is hard for middle-aged Anglo guys to do.
For people like me, a classic style is, I think, the way to go. I have a good, non-adjustable Yankees cap that had occasion to be taken out outside of a baseball game. The Palm Angels and Folk clothing, for example, both feature a cute single-color fabric hat with no plastic ties and a nice curve on the brim. If you’re under 30, however, you can go wild with tongue-in-cheek, showy appliqué logos and bright colors (example: Central Bookings International’s fun Toytown range).
Yet if all else fails – and, say, you leave your beloved straw hat in the overhead compartment when you leave the plane – there’s always your old, tied handkerchief.
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