The State of the Country Reflected in Oranje Football Team Selections

Never before has a football team been such a good reflection of the state of the country as this Oranje. The spirit of the times perfectly captured in a random selection. What a mess. Ronald Koeman has selected just as wildly as Dick Schoof, just like him a leader who has not yet enforced authority. Tuesday against the Romanians. According to future minister Madlener a B-country, an in-between nation.

The call for Wout Weghorst alone indicates that there is no hope. Calling for a crowbar is an outright conclusion that you are not a good football player. Memphis Depay is the Marjolein Faber of the team. They are vacuum cleaners; they automatically suck the negative attention towards them, they just say they are better off because of it. Did you see Joey Veerman against Austria? This is what Reinette Klever’s ministry will look like. With rakes for arms, she will shake hands with everyone on her first day at work at her own ministry. Gijs Tuinman, the decorated ex-soldier of BBB who thinks that a meeting room can be compared to a battlefield, reminds me of defender Jerdy Schouten. In Dwight Lodeweges I see Pieter Omtzigt, with his instructions scribbled on notes.

Just like in the real world, the press announces the impending doom. Willem Vissers, never shy of some lyricism, sows the seeds de Volkskrant death and destruction. In his opinion, even the Orange Legion that had settled in Berlin’s Olympiastadion, which was so highly praised abroad, could not withstand the comparison with the Austrian fans.

‘A decor of orange watercolor.’

Valentine Driessen from The Telegraphwho has been allowed to predict all the results wrongly for years and apparently never has a performance review himself, asked Ronald Koeman whether he still thought he could maintain himself. The answer was just as credible as the answers that Dilan Yesilgöz and Pieter give when you ask them about, for example, the qualities of the ministers and assistant ministers in Schoof I. They see a capable team that is going to tackle the major problems in the country, while even with a blocked nose you can smell that there is something fishy about various ministers and state secretaries.

The only ones who still seem to believe in it are the people without any (football) sense. What should you do with people who still dress in Orange and spend their holiday money on a trip to Munich to wander from left to right on our behalf? Do they really think we will become champions? Or do they have nothing else? The latter of course. All festivities will end on Tuesday, then we will first have a new government and a few hours later the shutdown will follow.

Marcel van Roosmalen writes an alternating column with Ellen Deckwitz on this page.

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