From 30,000 cheering fans during the Orange March through the streets of Berlin to the lonely, painful exit of Joey Veerman during the lost European Championship match against Austria—the contrast could not have been greater. How must he have felt?
I think back to my first World Cup in 2002: in the run-up to that tournament, I played freely. Not long after my debut for the Dutch national team, I scored goals on the assembly line. In interviews, I spoke bravuraly about my ambitions and dreamed of success and fame. But as the tournament drew closer, the tension increased. So much so that I could barely stop a simple ball, let alone score a goal. After every failed action, I looked anxiously at the sidelines, afraid of a substitution. On the one hand, I wanted to stay on the field and prove that I could do it, on the other hand, I wanted to disappear from this stage.
My confidence was gone. I was afraid of not being able to meet my own expectations or those of others. I hid in matches, avoided the ball and became increasingly tense. The result? I watched four of the nine matches from the stands.
Fear of failure
When the pressure to perform increases, your body reacts instinctively: your breathing quickens, your heart rate increases. These reactions prepare you for action, but can be overwhelming. I couldn’t control these feelings and so I was stuck in a vicious circle of fear of failure.
Months later I realized that I had to go back to basics. What are my values? What makes me feel good? What teammates do I need around me? What am I good at? How do I adapt to deal with these circumstances? Important values for me are authenticity, collaboration, trust, courage and curiosity. What am I good at? Working hard and scoring goals. And if something doesn’t work out, that’s really annoying, but I focus on the next opportunity.
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Joey Veerman now faces the same challenge. He can still play football very well. He has not lost his skills since those last minutes in Oranje. Now it is about him finding his peace again, getting his thoughts under control again.
That relaxation first became visible again after the match, when he was sitting in the stands with his son and wife. That could be the basis for looking ahead again, putting things into perspective and learning. Performance pressure is part of sports, every athlete suffers from it at some point. And the great thing is: those moments offer the chance to grow.
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The Tears of Joey Veerman: Self-knowledge Hurts
2024-07-01 18:01:55
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