Donald Trump,Simonetta Sommarug …” data-image-id=”7485796356185480″ class=”watson-snippet__image bg-light block h-auto w-full “/>
Donald Trump lets Simonetta Sommaruga introduce him to the secrets of Swiss politics.Image: AP
US President-elect Donald Trump has appointed a TV presenter with no political experience as Secretary of Defense. Vreni Schneider, Peach Weber and Globi are already getting into position.
Satire – (almost) no word is true!
Pete Hegseth has never held public office. But the 44-year-old was stationed in Iraq and Afghanistan. And because the presenter at the Fox TV channel likes to talk about the army, Donald Trump unexpectedly made him the head of 3.4 million employees, who spent over $900 billion last year.
What hardly anyone knows: Donald Trump also has a Swiss passport. According to rumors, it was given to him by the North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un, who spent part of his school days in Bern and still maintains good contacts. And so Trump had planned to become President of Switzerland in the event of an election defeat in the USA.
«Hi Kimbo, do you have my Swiss passport?» – «Auä scho, Donnie!»Image: AP
Trump had even put together a government. This list of 20 prominent cabinet members was brought to us via a winding path. As with his defense minister, Trump largely dispensed with political experience.
The lake
Ministry of Veganism, Flight Shaming and Gender Stars
«I (he/him) hätt no viu bleeder ta!»
Bild: KEYSTONE
Magdalena Martullo Blocher
Ministry of Memes and Viral Communications
«Seven thinking steps,
you dream du!»
Granit Xhaka
Ministry of Nonverbal Communication
«Emotion increased d’Uflag. D’Uflag increase, that’s min Uftrag.”
Bild: KEYSTONE
Peach Weber
Federal Department of Agriculture, Dairy, Nutrition and Rosehip Oil (EDAMER)
“Pilzl’s Dra is over there.”
Globes
Ministry for the Peaceful Dealing with Protesters
«You bullshit shut up,
you have to hei gah immediately!”
Bild: KEYSTONE
Patty Boser
Ministry for the stylish furnishing of ministries
“Hey, show me the refrigerator?”
image: telezüri
Basques
Ministry of Integration, Migration and Repatriation
Bild: keystone
Mona Vetsch
Ministry for the national promotion of the Thurgau dialect
“That’s really important!”
Image: srf
Loredana
Ministry of Pension Provision and Language Culture
«Hands full of cash, can’t answer my cell phone.
My life is so fucked, I can’t see the end.”
Bild: keystone
DJ Antoine
Ministry of Après-Ski and Powder Snow
«We are gonna dance into the sea, all I want is you, you’re ma Chérie.»
Bild: KEYSTONE
Hans Jucker’s hologram
Ministry of misunderstandings and faux pas
“Now, first of all, take care of those damn ponies. That annoys me, those stupid rowers!
Harry Hasler
Ministry of Public Transport
“And for other mischief, if you don’t know what I mean!”
Piero Esteriore
Ministry of Accident Prevention and Impulse Control
“I’m not giving you this fucking CD!”
Christa Rigozzi
Ministry of Radiant Smiles and Radiant Nuclear Power
“I don’t do this because I do everything, but out of love for (leafs through the notes) Switzerland.”
Bild: KEYSTONE
Vujo Gavric
Ministry of Solar and Wind Energy
“I’ve now thought of something romantic – a really beautiful sunset.”
Vreni Schneider
Ministry of Unbridled Passion
“A coffee on the edge of a pine tree, much better than the edge of a palm tree!”
Roger Federer
Ministry of Buildings, Boats and Backhand Strikes
“My father told me: Make sure you earn enough to pay your bills.”
Bild: keystone
Roger Schawinski
Ministry of Innovation, Revolution and Radicality
«Good luck! It’s a mini idea. Han I invented it!”
Bild: keystone
Marco Odermatt
Ministry for Austria and other peripheral regions
“Without all the Habsburgs behind me, every victory would only be half as nice.”
Bild: keystone
Gianni Infantino
Ministry of Honesty and Integrity
Bild: keystone
Who else do you have the right ministry for?
Share it in the comment box.
People who actually tattooed Donald Trump on themselves
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People who actually tattooed Donald Trump on themselves
If you’re a fan of Trump and the Philadelphia Eagles.
This is how often Trump says “Eloooooooooooooooooon” during his victory speech
Video: watson
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