The judoka to Sportweek: «I felt sad and yet I didn’t feel entitled to be. I had won, what could I complain about?”
Paris (France) 08/01/2024 – Paris 2024 Olympics / judo /photo Imago/Image Sport in the photo: Alice Bellandi ONLY ITALY
«From the outside I may seem unpleasant, almost a bitch, but in reality my biggest secret is that I am a teddy bear». This is how Alice Bellandi introduces herself to Sportweek. Olympic gold won in Parisbeating the Israeli Lanir in the final, is the result of a journey that led the twenty-six year old from Brescia to face the traumas that were eating away at her.
In 2020, before and during the Tokyo Games, she battled depression and eating disorders. And it was precisely the subsequent disappointment of seventh place in Japan that saved her. From there, it began a renaissance.
Bellandi: «I didn’t feel entitled to be sad. I had won, what was I complaining about?”
Did Olympic gold change Alice’s life?
«I wouldn’t say it really changed, but let’s say that the wave of affection that followed overwhelmed me. And this was unexpected, because I have won many important medals at the European and World Championships, medals that have weight, but perhaps only for me and for those who experience the world of judo. Instead, the Olympic gold had an impact even on those who know nothing about my sport: being stopped and recognized on the street surprised me. Sometimes I don’t know how to handle this, everyone expects me to always be happy just because I won».
Isn’t that so?
«Day after day we are forced to return to reality, the one that made me think it was a medal like the others. There were moments, especially at the beginning, when if I was sad I didn’t feel entitled to be so: I had won, what could I complain about? But I couldn’t feel that happiness that everyone told me about. I risked falling back into depression».
Bellandi explains:
«In today’s society we tend to show only the beautiful, only perfect couples, only rich people, everyone happy… But, behind the screen, real life is not like that. For those like me who are facing a journey, and not only that, it is dangerous».
Then he recalls the period before Tokyo:
«I remember the darkness of that period. I was like a ball continually rolling downwards. I isolated myself, I didn’t know what sharing meant and I didn’t want to show anyone my weaknesses. I always tried to hide everything under the carpet, even when my ailments became evident: one day I weighed 70 kg, four days later I weighed 86, I had tachycardia.
Read also: Alice Bellandi a gold at the end of the bulimia tunnel: «I wasn’t ashamed to ask for help»
I started having skin problems and losing hair. It all culminated in Tokyo: after losing I was broken and I really hit rock bottom. I found myself faced with a choice: should I leave everything or was there something that could save me? So I found the strength within myself to get back up. Salvation was stopping and asking myself what I should change in my life to feel good. From there I changed coaches, changed categories and started a journey with a mental coach. Plus I found my faith again, another thing that helped me a lot».
After the gold, the world-wide kiss with his girlfriend:
«I admit it wasn’t easy. She is also a judoka, but she missed out on qualifying for Paris and had to put her pain aside to support my dream. It’s not something for everyone. Plus I’m not an easy person and it was definitely difficult to manage my mood swings. I will be forever grateful to her».
Read also: Alice Bellandi: «The kiss to my partner? I’m sorry it’s seen as something extraordinary.”
